Analysis of The Ideal Marital Life of The Holy Prophetﷺ

 

Analysis of The Ideal Marital Life of The Holy Prophet ﷺ

Introduction: In the recent it could be seen that people raise questions about the marital life of The Holy Prophet ﷺ especially about his marriage with Hazrat E Aisha, The daughter of his the most closest companion called Hazrat E Abu Bakar Siddique. From one of the controversial magazines of this world, The French Magazine “Charlie Hebdo” to every social media platform, n number of the people could be seen raising questions about the same moreover they use various slanderous terms against The Holy Prophet ﷺ for the same reason. And so very recently a spokesperson of a political party of our country raised similar questions on a national TV.

1. His Marriages:

1.1 Before discussing the objective of this article first see why this slanderous accusation is made for The Holy Prophet ﷺ ?

This disgusting and serious accusation is made cause The Holy Prophet got married with the daughter of his the most closest companion called Hazrat E Abu Bakar Siddique in the age of 6 and then He consummated his marriage to her when she was 9.

Narrated `Aisha[1]:

that The Prophet (ﷺ) married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old, and then she remained with him for nine years (i.e., till his death).

So the slanderous accusation is made cause he got consummated his marriage to her when she was 9.

Keeping the accusation on the Holy Prophet ﷺ in the mind, Lets analyze the marital life of The Prophet ﷺ. Name of the brides or concubines of him with their age are mentioned in the following table:

S.No.	Name of Bride	Bride’s age at marriage	Comments
1.	Khadija Bint Khawliad	40	Twice widowed before
2.	Sauda Bint Zama	50	Widow
3.	Aisha Bint Abu Bakr	9	Started living with The Prophet at the age of 9.
4.	Hafsa Bint Umar bin Khattab	22	Widow
5.	Zainab bint Khuzaima	30	Widow
6.	Umm-e-Salma bint Abu Umaiya	26	Widow
7.	Zainab Bint Jahash	38	Widow
8.	Juwaeria bint Harith	20	Widow
9.	Umm-e-Habiba bint Abu Sufiyan	36	Widow
10.	Marya Qibtiya bint Shamum	17	Virgin, Egyptian
11.	Safia bint Hayi bin Akhtab	17	Widow
12.	Maimuna bint Harith	36	Widow

After seeing the stats of the table[2] it could be easily concluded that, In more than 80% of his marriages, He got married with a widow. The stats clearly depict his purpose of marriage which was nothing but to grant widow women the shelter and protection in terms of marriage (Nikah). The respect these women got after marrying with The Holy Prophet ﷺ was such high that they are remembered as family even in this era. Apart from that one must not forget the status of women, their age of puberty, the custom of remarrying, place of widow in the society at that time in the particular region while discussing the marital life of The Prophet ﷺ of Islam.  

He came to teach people about the equality, respect towards women in general. He granted the rights of widow to remarry. He married younger one Hazrat-e-Aisha (R.A.) in order to explain to the world the correct behavior and personal issues of husband and wife. She was younger so she lived longest time with the Prophet ﷺ. The learning she acquired from him, she continued to give to the women even after the departure of The Prophet ﷺ from this world.

1.2 Still people raise questions about his marriage with Hazrat e Aisha especially considering that how could he consummated her in her young age of 9?

Well in the religion of Islam, It is permissible to get married when one reaches in the age of puberty and maturity of intellect.

The verse[3] of Quran says “And remain testing the orphans, until they are able to marry; then if you find them of right understanding, deliver to them their property and consume it not in extravagance and in such haste that they should not reach their maturity. And whose is not needy, let him abstain and whosoever is needy, let him consume it with equity. But when you deliver them their property, then take witnesses against them. And Allah is sufficient in taking account.”

And puberty[4] is a natural phenomenon that occurs at varying ages in different individuals. Research in global human behavior seems to indicate that girls and boys who are born and live in warmer parts of the world are more likely to reach puberty earlier than their peers living in the colder regions and climates of the world. For example, those who live in middle eastern Arab countries tend to reach puberty at an earlier age compared to those who live in Northern European countries.

Moreover Even in US itself in various different states the minimum age of marriage[5] is different. For in Massachusetts the minimum age of marriage for females is 12 while the same for males is 14. Similarly 2 states (Alaska and Vermont) of it have minimum age of marriage is 14. 3 states (Hawaii, Kansas and Maryland) have a minimum age of marriage is 15. And 23 states have a minimum age of marriage is 16.

Now, it could be clearly concluded that puberty reaches to the individual according to the living region of the one in the world.

 There is another Hadith which may remove ambiguity about the same. The Hadith says:

Narrated `Aisha[6]:

That the Prophet (ﷺ) said to her, "You have been shown to me twice in my dream. I saw you pictured on a piece of silk and some-one said (to me). 'This is your wife.' When I uncovered the picture, I saw that it was yours. I said, 'If this is from Allah, it will be done."

So it could be clearly concluded that he got married with her due the wish of Almighty Allah and she was mature enough and in the age of puberty when He consummated her.

2. False allegation of child abuser:

2.1 For discussing this thing first we have to know that what is the definition of child abuse[7]?

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines child abuse and child maltreatment as "all forms of physical and/or emotional ill-treatment, sexual abuse, neglect or negligent treatment or commercial or other exploitation, resulting in actual or potential harm to the child's health, survival, development or dignity in the context of a relationship of responsibility, trust or power." The WHO also says, "Violence against children includes all forms of violence against people under 18 years old, whether perpetrated by parents or other caregivers, peers, romantic partners, or strangers."

There are various types of child maltreatment and child sexual abuse or maltreatment is one of them.

2.2 What is this child sexual abuse (CSA)?

Child sexual abuse (CSA) is a form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent abuses a child for sexual stimulation. Sexual abuse refers to the participation of a child in a sexual act aimed toward the physical gratification or the financial profit of the person committing the act. Forms of CSA include asking or pressuring a child to engage in sexual activities (regardless of the outcome), indecent exposure of the genitals to a child, displaying pornography to a child, actual sexual contact with a child, physical contact with the child's genitals, viewing of the child's genitalia without physical contact, or using a child to produce child pornography. Selling the sexual services of children may be viewed and treated as child abuse rather than simple incarceration.

Effects of child sexual abuse on the victim(s) include guilt and self blame, flashbacks, nightmares,  insomnia, fear of things associated  with the abuse (including objects, smells, places, doctor's visits, etc.), self-esteem difficulties, sexual dysfunction, chronic pain, addiction, self-injury, suicidal ideation, somatic complaints, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, other mental illnesses including borderline personality disorder and dissociative identity disorder, propensity to re-victimization in adulthood, bulimia nervosa, and physical injury to the child, among other problems.

People use the term ‘victim of child sexual abuse’ for Hazrat e Aisha , However no such symptom was seen in her entire life moreover her state of mind was that much good that most of the hadiths regarding to women concerns are narrated from her only. She is also known for narrating more than 2000 hadiths[8] not just related to The Prophet’s private life, but also on topics such inheritance, pilgrimage and eschatology. And so most of the Ulama (Religious scholar) says that The Prophet got married to her in her young age cause he wanted someone who could resolve the concerns regarding to women and spread the correct view of the religion among the women. 

So false allegations against the Prophet is nothing but slanderous attempt to malign the image of The Holy Prophet ﷺ of Islam who actually uplifted the lives of women and granted them most basic rights.

Above this all,  a verse[9] of Quran as my cover photo of this write up which says that, “And We send not you but a mercy for all worlds” so the one who is mercy for all worlds how He could be the reason of difficulty for one of his wives itself?

So, Alhamdulillah it is clearly proven that any such allegation against the Holy Prophet ﷺ is false and baseless.

And Almighty Allah knows the best.

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-Irshad Ahmed Noori

M.Tech (Environmental Science and Engineering)

Jamia Millia Islamia, New Delhi.

 

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[1]Sahih al-Bukhari 5133

[2] Syed Abu Zafar Zain/ The Prophet of Islam, the Ideal Husband/ Ist Ed., pg. 10 -12

[3] Quran/ Kanzul Iman / 4:6

[4] Al-islam.org/ The religion of Al-Islam and Marriage / Arifa Hudda

[5] Wikipedia/ Marriage age in United states

[6] Sahih al-Bukhari 3895 

[7] Wikipedia/ Child Abuse

[8] Wikipedia/ Aisha

[9] Quran/ KanzulIman/ 21:107